He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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