ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Acid is not a monday night drug
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
