I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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