How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
NoShamevember. You game?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
