I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
