I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I still have a little drunk in my system
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
