I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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