My hand turned me down
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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