And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
