someone owes me an orgasm
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
only you would photoshop your dick
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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