i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
