i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
