i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
