Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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