dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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