arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
