I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
