just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
