Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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