Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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