I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize