after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
