C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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