he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
