Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
50% drunk capacity currently
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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