Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize