My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
