Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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