yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize