Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
