HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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