WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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