she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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