we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize