She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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