Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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