Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
