Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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