I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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