Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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