Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
