I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
