you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize