i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
