I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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