just come out here and I will go home with you...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
someone owes me an orgasm
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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