she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize