I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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