he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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