I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
