Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
