Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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