Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
