Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
