Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
