can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
