I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
