if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Sext me about skeletons
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
